


you get too close, take the one i love the most.

by maidswaltz



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, can hajime give me a hug, its MY vent fic and I get to choose the pet names, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:14:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28190748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maidswaltz/pseuds/maidswaltz
Summary: Nagito has night terrors every night. He screams like he's just seen a murder, and cries until he falls back asleep. Hajime has a hunch about what's going on, and asks Nagito what happened between him and Izuru. It's not pretty.---[TW: past ab//se of every fucking kind b safe!!]
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Kamukura Izuru/Komaeda Nagito [Past]
Comments: 7
Kudos: 89





	you get too close, take the one i love the most.

**Author's Note:**

> heyyy this is a vent fic as in 'ive had delusions about what komaeda says happened actually happening and i dont know how else to get this off my chest.' i love being delusionally attatched to a traumatized bastard IAHSBDJKANLS /s  
> title taken from too close by sir chloe because it describes what i can remember of me and his relationship so hard but i gotta say it was a REAL hard choice between this one or "when they get what they want, they never want it again" from violet by hole because like y e a h

"Nagito. Something's wrong, and I really, really need you to tell me what it is."

Hajime had been pushed to his breaking point. Nagito refused to tell him anything about what happened during the reign of Ultimate Despair, and it had gone beyond the point of worrying him. Nagito had night terrors, waking up screaming like he'd just witnessed a murder. He would sob, thankful for the soundproof cabins as he leaned into Hajime and broke. And he still refused to tell Hajime what had happened. 

"Nothing's wrong babe, please don't worry."

Hajime let out an exasperated laugh, throwing himself down against the pillow. The digital clock beside them read 3:23 AM, Nagito having woken from another night terror. He continued, as if Nagito had never said not to worry, "You refuse to tell me what happened with Izuru, even though I can tell _something_ happened. You lock up at the very mention of him. If he hurt you, I want to know. I can't help you if I don't know what happened. And I wont react negatively, no matter what he did, or you did, or anything. _Please._ "

Nagito had begun crying again, burying his face into Hajime's chest. During these times at night, even when no one could see, Nagito refused to look Hajime in the eyes. He never could have guessed why until now.

Nagito began to speak, his voice breathy and quiet as he quietly sobbed, "He... he hurt me. He hurt me so badly. I was so out of it, I couldn't say no to anything he said." He took a deep breath, leaning even farther into the other boy as he continued, "I called him by your name once. It just slipped out, we had been talking a bit and I called him your name, and he flipped out."

Hajime took a shaky breath, asking Nagito to continue. He didn't like where this was going.

"He hit me. It wasn't the first time he had ever done that, but this time was somehow different. That entire day was hazy and disorganized, but it gets especially choppy here. The next thing I knew, he was on top of me. I said no, I asked him to stop so many times but-" He stopped again, a sob hitching his breath as he trailed off. "He didn't listen."

"He said it was my fault, Hajime, and I believed every last word he said."

Hajime felt like time had stopped around him. He began to cry with Nagito, leaning into him and wrapping his arms around him while saying, "No, no, honey he was wrong, it's not your fault. Oh god, I'm so sorry. It's never, never your fault."

Nagito carried on, beginning to shake now, "That wasn't the only time he did... that. He used me like his little toy, and I drank in every word he said, believed it in full. When he said he loved me, it was like nothing else mattered. But he would hit me, scream at me, touch me, if I messed anything up, if I defied him in any way. Honestly, if he heard me say any of this to you, he'd slap the shit out of me." He laughed as he said the last bit, finding a bit of humor in how horrible his situation was. It just hurt Hajime to hear it, the way he laughed so lightly when telling him about some of the most horrible things a human could experience.

Nagito looked up from Hajime's chest, pulling his hand up and running his fingers along the thin incision on Hajime's forehead. "Sometimes, you look just like him. I can't look you in the eye in fear that he'll come back and ridicule me again some nights. It's pathetic, isn't it. I can't even keep myself grounded in logic."

Hajime broke again, the words slamming directly into his heart. That bastard had used his body, his voice, for so many things that he could never undo. His first concern wasn't himself though, it was his boyfriend laying on the bed sobbing.

"No, you're not pathetic, he was a horrible person and he traumatized you so, so much. I can't even begin to imagine the effects of what he did on you, and all I can do is tell you I'm so, so sorry. If I knew that the project would make a person that would do that, I never would have accepted it. I can only be here for you now, and try to mend what I can."

Nagito took a deep breath, still shaking as he continued. 

"Sometimes, I feel like I still love him. Like everything he said about me, about how I was worthless, boring, and only good when I was quiet, was true. He forgot about me so fast, but I still try to grasp for strings, find some sign that he liked me the way I do, that he wasn't just playing with me like a science experiment. I feel so, so selfish for it, because you're here now, and you love me so much, but I'm still living in the past, in the lies he told me."

"Nagito, you're not selfish for that. He manipulated you, made you really believe him, and it's hard to leave that behind. But, I just want you to know, that what that fucker did to you wasn't out of love. I don't know what could have possibly motivated him, but it definitely wasn't love. Like you said, I'm here now, and now that I know, I can help. I want to help you feel better, move on from what he did, bring you out of that horrible past."

Nagito nodded, giving Hajime one last hug. 

"Let's sleep on it. Who could have known that talking about horrible trauma could make one so tired?" He said sarcastically, pulling Hajime down as he lay on the pile of pillows at the head of the bed. Hajime pulled him in for a kiss, saying all the sweet nothings he could think of. They fell asleep in each others arms, the world melting away as their tears fell to a stop, peaceful snoring all that could be heard.

\---

The next morning, Hajime was awake before Nagito. He softly rose from bed, laying his half of the covers over the other boy. After the talk they had last night, the sun was a welcome break in theme. He was still in his pyjamas, so he threw on a robe and walked right out the door. He sat on the tiny porch they had built, the cabin modified to feel more like a real home. The cold air washed over him, his senses all intact and _his._ He was him, and goddamn, was he happy to not be anyone else right now. 

A presence was beside him soon, and he felt a head being laid on his shoulder. It was Nagito, who had woken up from a fragile sleep and immediately came looking for Hajime. Hajime had always been someone he could lean on, trust with anything, even if he was scared of his luck coming back to bite him. Hajime had never cared for all that. He was a safe space, someone who would stick by him. And that was exactly what Nagito needed right now. He dipped his feet in the water below, letting the cold shock his system as he sat. He was real, he was here, and he was with the love of his life. Things were looking better, and he finally felt safe to try and recover.

"I love you, Hajime. I just want you to know that."

"I love you too, honey. I'm here."

**Author's Note:**

> I've come to make an announcement:
> 
> Izuru Kamukura's a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog fucking quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife and he said his dick was "this big" and I said "that's disgusting".
> 
> So I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com: Izuru Kamukura, you got a small dick, its the size of this walnut except way smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right baby, all point, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong.


End file.
